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LABELS ARE FOR GROCERIES NOT FOR PEOPLEby Sorrell Associates w/permission October 12, 2005How Labeling People As ‘Difficult’ Causes Problems
Most, if not all of us, talk about difficult people. We think: “Oh, that’s John again, why is he always a pain in the posterior,” or “Why is Mary so darned stubborn and difficult all the time.” We tend to characterize (or label) people and put them into boxes or categories.
If you do that, it’s not a character flaw on your part, but a way of trying to simplify the world. In fact our brains are wired to do this automatically. Brains are wonderful information reduction and labeling machines. They classify, label and organize information to make our lives easier.
This Won’t Work!
Although our brains tend to label people as difficult, that’s not the best way to think about difficult situations. If you label a person as difficult, you are more likely to create more difficult situations with that person, since you will be expecting bad things to happen.
Unfortunately, while our brains do this labeling almost automatically, the process makes dealing with difficult people ... well ... more difficult.
Here’s why. When you label a person as difficult (or stubborn, boring, untrustworthy), you use that label to predict their behavior and actions in the immediate and long-term future.
In other words, you use the labels to create expectations on your part about how the person will behave. In one sense that’s not necessarily bad. Predicting difficulties can help us prepare.
In another way it’s really bad. When we have negative expectations about someone based on a label, we act differently than with someone about whom we have positive expectations.
When we label a person difficult and have poor expectations about the person, we are more likely to:
• Be quicker to interpret their actions as negative
• Be more likely to have strong emotional reactions to them.
• Treat them more abruptly
• Expect less from them
All of these factors can create difficult situations with someone when no difficult situation is actually present in the first place.
In other words, your expectations and labels of people can cause you to create exactly what you believe will happen—a self-fulfilling prophecy situation.
Insider Secrets -
Some time ago, researchers looked at the power of expectations in classrooms. They assigned children to classrooms randomly, so no class was smarter or dumber than the others. They told half the teachers their kids were “smart” and the other half that their kids were “less smart.” Then they measured how well the kids did.
Although the kids in each class were
equally smart, the kids labeled
“less smart” performed significantly
less than the kids teachers believed
were “smart.” In other words, our
expectations affect how we behave
and interact with others, and others
react to our behavior in ways that
usually reinforce our expectations.
This ‘power of expectation’ was labeled
the “Pygmalion effect.”
Source: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Handling Difficult Employees. Permission granted By Robert Bacal.
Leading By Empowerment
How often does your organization give employees responsibility without a clear direction or an understanding of the expectations? This can, and most often will, result in low productivity, confusion, and lack of results, that creates low morale and possibly high turnover.
However, employees that are empowered will produce amazing results in the workplace and usually do it with a great attitude and enthusiasm.
When leaders and managers empower effectively, they don’t give up authority and responsibility completely; rather, they share these elements with the employees. They help the employees reach new heights and further their career.
A key to successful empowerment is to clearly communicate your expectations, establish clear boundaries of authority, and create an action plan for results.
Leader Guidelines For Empowering Employees
• Include Employees In The Direction Of Your Company
This includes a part in the strategic planning phase, writing goals and objectives and the implementation of the goals with a specific timeline. Let your employees help determine the timelines and rewards for completion of the task.
• Be Clear In Your Communication
Be sure employees understand what you are asking for. Ask them to recap the conversation, listening for gaps in what you said and what was repeated back.
• Use Their Ideas
How much time do you spend listening to your employees’ ideas and suggestions? Ask for their input in how they would go about completing a project. Let them do it their way if the result will be satisfactory to you.
• Demonstrate Your Trust
Determine what resources they need before they start the project and clear the way for the resources to be available. Resist checking in on every detail, but have controls in place so they know when they should check with you.
• Match Their Interests With Your Needs
Meet with your employees and learn what they want and need. When possible, assign tasks that will allow them to grow and take on additional responsibilities.
• Give Realistic Timelines
Determine together a realistic timeline. Be specific as to when a project is due, don’t say, “Return this to me as soon as possible.” If you need it by the end of the week, say so clearly.
• Establish Priorities
It is helpful for employees to know which pieces are the most important to you. Make certain that they know what needs to be done first and why.
• Coach, Don’t Manage
Coach your employees to success. This means listen, ask questions, offer strategic advice, and always give direct feedback.
Copyright SA 2005. All rights reserved.
Successful Business Tips
1. Establish Your Long-Term Vision.
- Take a good look at your company and its core competencies and create a written picture of your future.
2. Communicate Your Vision.
- Let everybody know what your vision is and ask them what it means to them. This will help you to get buy-in and help others know where you are going in the long-term so they can see where they fit in.
3. Establish Some Core Values.
- By establishing some core values, everyone will know the guidelines of their actions and decisions. Core values allow us to come up with similar answers to a problem, regardless of the employee’s position, based on our values.
4. Establish Your Goals.
- Set long-term, (1-5 years) intermediate, (Quarterly, Semi-annually) and short-term goals (Daily, Weekly, and Monthly) for the entire company.
5. Create Action Plans For Each Goal.
- Make sure you have very specific steps for each goal accomplishment.
6. Challenge Everyone To Meet The Goals.
- Most people will step up to the challenge and exceed your expectations.
7.Recognize And Reward Employees For Their Achievements.
- This will inspire others to achieve more. What gets rewarded - gets repeated.
Copyright 2005, Sorrell Associates.
The Essence of Discovery
Live your life each day, as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment, and the view from the summit will prove to be astonishing.
This entire newsletter was used with permission by Sorrell and Associates. All articles, quotes, and material in this newsletter are copyrighted. © 2005. No part can be reproduced in any form without specific written consent from copyright holder(s). All rights reserved worldwide.
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